Modern Dating 101

Madea drops some serious truth bombs in this clip. The quality isn't the greatest, but the message is still the same.  Biggest take always: 1. You can't change someone.  "If someone shows you who they are, believe them." Maya Angelou Meet people where they are. Don't enter into a partnership thinking, 'well if they do this then things will get better' Guess what... they won't do that and you will get upset and disappointed because they end up not living up to YOUR expectations.  Meet tehm where they are.  You do not have a right to try and change anyone. Ever. Change is entirely up to them, not you. You can make suggestions, but whether or not they take that advice is entirely up to them. You can suggest it and then let it go. Release the expectation and avoid a whole lot of stress and aggravation in the process. 2. When something doesn't sit right with you, keep asking questions. Always trust the vibes you get, int...

As we get older and progress through the various stages of life, the likelihood of dating a single-parent becomes increasingly more common. A lot of us over the years have been in long term serious relationships, some married some common-law, some relationships fleeting and brief. Some of us have started a family with who we thought was going to be our happily ever after, only to realise you've grown apart over the years and no longer have it in you to make things work. Some of us end up with unplanned little minions from relationships that weren't expected or were doomed from the get-go, so we end up taking the long, hard road of parenting on our own. Some of us choose different paths, some put career before kids, travel over family, and some just haven't grown up yet. Whatever path you choose is entirely up to you and nobody has a right to judge your choices, those are YOUR choices and yours alone. That being said, there are massive differences between these types...

We've all had nightmare dates, right? Right? If you've been on the dating scene for ANY length of time, I'm sure you have a story or two up your sleeve. (and I'd love to hear it btw... send it over. I love details <3) In the age of internet dating, meeting someone new can be so unnerving and... unpredictable. Dating can also be entertaining, educational (never do THAT again), foreboding (oh shit, what have I gotten myself into this time), daunting, incredible, adventurous, spontaneous... glorious. depending on the scenario, the people involved, the venue, etc., dating can amount to just about anything. In my blogging research over the last couple weeks, I've discovered that people like to read lists. No idea why, but it is what it is so I'll run with it. Lists make things easy to read and they can be fun. I can see that. I often make lists of things that need to be done, picked up from the store, or ideas / goals that I'm working on or towards. I u...

My last relationship ended because I need more space than he understood the need for. I've always been incredibly independent and I've pretty much always been left to my own devices in previous relationships. I may not have had the most positive experiences in previous relationships, hence the need for independence, but I did not feel smothered or caged. My last relationship stressed me out because I needed my space and he didn't (red flag). He got offended when I told him I needed time alone (mostly to just go to yoga class a couple times a week-cheaper than therapy! but also to just fucking breathe my own air and not see his face for a bit). He did not see the importance of time away from each other and felt that it was a personal attack on him or that I didn't want to be around him (red flag). Quite frankly, when you spend 24/7 with another human being half the time you just wonder when the fuck they're going to go away and give you 5 minutes of peace so y...

Failure.  Ugh, it's such a horrible feeling. The response fear brings to your body... the tightening chest, the dry mouth, your throat closing, your voice shaking, you can feel your confidence waning, sweaty palms, maybe even chest pains, stomach cramps or even a headache. Fear can seriously fuck with your body in ways that you can't even begin to imagine. I've had fear put me in the hospital because I thought I was having a heart attack... turns out it was anxiety. Have you ever white-knuckle, clung to a relationship because you were afraid of failing and having to start over again? You tried to push the differences aside, perhaps hoping they'd go away on their own or you attended the counselling sessions to try and work through your differences. You spent night after night trying to talk things through only to have it end, night after night, in the same exact manner - arguing over stupid shit that most likely isn't all that important to begin with. Have you ...

When you naturally have a healing aura, you tend to attract a lot of damaged people into your life. When you radiate healing energy, you become a light in the darkness. The damaged people are drawn to you like moths to a flame. You become a beacon of hope. Your healing energy can be so powerful that just being in your presence brings them peace. It helps to ground them and bring balance to their energy field. Do you ever find that you are exhausted after spending time with certain people? Maybe scrolling through your social media news feed has become enough to suck the life out of you? Watching the news? I know that one drains me. We are quite literally bombarded with negative energy all day, every day. Do you know that you can implement simple practices that can help keep YOUR wonderful energy all to yourself and repel the negative energy of others? They say that we become like the people we spend most of our time with, so if you are spending most of your time with negative en...

As you may have gathered from the title... this post contains profanity. If the word fuck offends you, you may want to skip to the next post. If profanity is your thang, glad you came! Enjoy I am a self-professed, self-help junkie. My book shelves are lined with books that will help make me a better person and my audible library is all about getting my shit together, removing judgement, finding balance, and releasing my need to give a fuck about absolutely everything. I suffer from anxiety and most of the time my anxiety attacks (which feel kinda like a heart attack) are my own damn fault for caring to much about everything. My constant striving towards a better me, means that one day I may not enter into full-blown panic attacks when I over-think and over-analyse something to death. This book was a game changer for me. I've listened to it 4x in the last 2 years and I get new ah-ha moments each and every time. If you are one to struggle with anxiety and are consistent...

When you've been disappointed and let down so many times by the opposite sex you inevitably will just get to a point where you say, fuck it. I'll do it myself. Anyone else?  Comment YES if you agree.  # singleandproud # notimeforlosers   # moderndating101 SUBSCRIBE HERE

After ending yet another shitty and chaotic relationship, I've come to the conclusion that I am better suited alone. It's not that I don't enjoy the partnership and companionship, or that I am selfish, I feel it is as though I don't know how to love properly. I'm a bad partner. I give so much of myself that I end up losing myself along the way. This is never a good thing in a relationship. I stand firm in my beliefs that when you are in a relationship, you should each maintain your lives outside of your relationship. I don't mean to lead double lives, I just mean that you should carry on with the YOU that you built before you became an US. I say this and I believe in this, but I haven't been able to uphold it. You see, I tend to attract men that need re-assurance and mass amounts of emotional support, men with trust issues and who are possessive, basically, men who need another mother. I start out strong, but over time their insecurities start to we...

Truth is, we were lied to. Each and every one of us. Our parents lied to us all. They promised us the world and left out the very important part about "working for it." We were told we could be anything. Do anything. Have anything. What we weren't told is that in order to BE anything, DO everything and HAVE everything, we need to work our asses off for it. Unless you were born into the monarchy or a very affluent family, chances are shit ain't gonna be easy for you, sister. Chances are you're going to have to hustle that ass of yours in order to cash in on all the anything's and everything's you were promised. It takes work. Lots of it. Don't get me wrong, I'm not here to burst your bubble and crush your dreams of greatness, vast wealth and incredible opportunities. I'm here to remind you that you are not entitled to any of it. If you want it, you're going to have to go after it. Hustle. Get uncomfortable. Grow. Learn. Ex...

What happens when you stop feeling? Like, completely. You still feel love towards your kids, your cats and your family and friends, but your partner... You were in a committed relationship, it was going fantastic! You were head over heels in love. He made you laugh. He treated you like the queen that you are. He loved your kids. He CARED about your kids. You went RING SHOPPING with this dude. You planned on marrying him. You guys had made plans for the future: Fix up the current house, sell, buy a bigger house that will fit all the kids and be closer to work, get married and live happily ever after, right? Wrong. What happens when one day you wake up and realize that everything is gone. He's still there. He still loves and adores you, but all the feelings of love, all the emotional attachments, all the desires, the thoughts of a future together... they're gone. Poof. Disappeared. Gone-zo You can't bring them back no matter how hard you try. You c...

I've heard mixed reviews on this one and to be honest, I am not entirely sure which side I lean to, so I'd like to weigh in on the masses and get more ideas on this one. An even bigger question...do you feel like YOU are capable of being someone's everything? Can you provide and fulfil absolutely every single need that another human being requires? Kinda makes you think. Do you feel that your partner should be your everything? Should they be the centre of your universe, the end all and be all. Your best friend, your lover, your side kick, you confidante, your soul mate, you go-to, your cook, your sugar daddy, the one you explore all sexual fantasies with. You get my drift. Is it possible for ONE person to be absolutely everything you need? So much so that you could survive solely on each other without any issues or concerns? Now I may be exaggerating here, but I want to hear your thoughts. In my opinion, I feel like the idea of being someone's everythin...