Modern Dating 101

I went to a basketball game tonight with my kids. I was really hoping the game would shake me out of the funk I'm in right now, but it didn't... It actually made it a bit worse I think. Surrounded by so many people and so much noise, the tightness in my chest was insane. I'm not sure if it's seasonal depression hitting me or my obstacles trying to push me away from  my goals, but I'm struggling. Hard. I've always been open and honest about my struggles, but I've been keeping to myself lately in hopes that I could work through it on my own... but here I am. My head is pounding and my chest is tight, my patience is running thin and I want to crawl back into my bed and stay there until it all goes away. Sadly, I know that's not how it works and I can't do that anyways. There is a quote... you never know how strong you are until being strong is your only option... kinda makes you think. I fight so hard against letting these feelings take over me and...

My last relationship ended because I need more space than he understood the need for. I've always been incredibly independent and I've pretty much always been left to my own devices in previous relationships. I may not have had the most positive experiences in previous relationships, hence the need for independence, but I did not feel smothered or caged. My last relationship stressed me out because I needed my space and he didn't (red flag). He got offended when I told him I needed time alone (mostly to just go to yoga class a couple times a week-cheaper than therapy! but also to just fucking breathe my own air and not see his face for a bit). He did not see the importance of time away from each other and felt that it was a personal attack on him or that I didn't want to be around him (red flag). Quite frankly, when you spend 24/7 with another human being half the time you just wonder when the fuck they're going to go away and give you 5 minutes of peace so y...

Failure.  Ugh, it's such a horrible feeling. The response fear brings to your body... the tightening chest, the dry mouth, your throat closing, your voice shaking, you can feel your confidence waning, sweaty palms, maybe even chest pains, stomach cramps or even a headache. Fear can seriously fuck with your body in ways that you can't even begin to imagine. I've had fear put me in the hospital because I thought I was having a heart attack... turns out it was anxiety. Have you ever white-knuckle, clung to a relationship because you were afraid of failing and having to start over again? You tried to push the differences aside, perhaps hoping they'd go away on their own or you attended the counselling sessions to try and work through your differences. You spent night after night trying to talk things through only to have it end, night after night, in the same exact manner - arguing over stupid shit that most likely isn't all that important to begin with. Have you ...

When you naturally have a healing aura, you tend to attract a lot of damaged people into your life. When you radiate healing energy, you become a light in the darkness. The damaged people are drawn to you like moths to a flame. You become a beacon of hope. Your healing energy can be so powerful that just being in your presence brings them peace. It helps to ground them and bring balance to their energy field. Do you ever find that you are exhausted after spending time with certain people? Maybe scrolling through your social media news feed has become enough to suck the life out of you? Watching the news? I know that one drains me. We are quite literally bombarded with negative energy all day, every day. Do you know that you can implement simple practices that can help keep YOUR wonderful energy all to yourself and repel the negative energy of others? They say that we become like the people we spend most of our time with, so if you are spending most of your time with negative en...

When you've been disappointed and let down so many times by the opposite sex you inevitably will just get to a point where you say, fuck it. I'll do it myself. Anyone else?  Comment YES if you agree.  # singleandproud # notimeforlosers   # moderndating101 SUBSCRIBE HERE

After ending yet another shitty and chaotic relationship, I've come to the conclusion that I am better suited alone. It's not that I don't enjoy the partnership and companionship, or that I am selfish, I feel it is as though I don't know how to love properly. I'm a bad partner. I give so much of myself that I end up losing myself along the way. This is never a good thing in a relationship. I stand firm in my beliefs that when you are in a relationship, you should each maintain your lives outside of your relationship. I don't mean to lead double lives, I just mean that you should carry on with the YOU that you built before you became an US. I say this and I believe in this, but I haven't been able to uphold it. You see, I tend to attract men that need re-assurance and mass amounts of emotional support, men with trust issues and who are possessive, basically, men who need another mother. I start out strong, but over time their insecurities start to we...

Truth is, we were lied to. Each and every one of us. Our parents lied to us all. They promised us the world and left out the very important part about "working for it." We were told we could be anything. Do anything. Have anything. What we weren't told is that in order to BE anything, DO everything and HAVE everything, we need to work our asses off for it. Unless you were born into the monarchy or a very affluent family, chances are shit ain't gonna be easy for you, sister. Chances are you're going to have to hustle that ass of yours in order to cash in on all the anything's and everything's you were promised. It takes work. Lots of it. Don't get me wrong, I'm not here to burst your bubble and crush your dreams of greatness, vast wealth and incredible opportunities. I'm here to remind you that you are not entitled to any of it. If you want it, you're going to have to go after it. Hustle. Get uncomfortable. Grow. Learn. Ex...

I've heard mixed reviews on this one and to be honest, I am not entirely sure which side I lean to, so I'd like to weigh in on the masses and get more ideas on this one. An even bigger question...do you feel like YOU are capable of being someone's everything? Can you provide and fulfil absolutely every single need that another human being requires? Kinda makes you think. Do you feel that your partner should be your everything? Should they be the centre of your universe, the end all and be all. Your best friend, your lover, your side kick, you confidante, your soul mate, you go-to, your cook, your sugar daddy, the one you explore all sexual fantasies with. You get my drift. Is it possible for ONE person to be absolutely everything you need? So much so that you could survive solely on each other without any issues or concerns? Now I may be exaggerating here, but I want to hear your thoughts. In my opinion, I feel like the idea of being someone's everythin...

I don't know how you feel about it, but dating is hard. It can be entertaining, but sometimes it hurts. Heartbreak hurts. People, men AND women, can be assholes and can stomp all over your heart like they were sloshing through muddle puddles on a rainy day. Sometimes we fall so freely and expect so much that we put our entire heart into something only to have the rug pulled out from under us because something or someONE doesn't measure up to what you had expected. I developed a curiosity about dating and the world of relationships long ago. Why is it so hard? Why do we allow ourselves to get hurt so often? Why do we have such unrealistic expectations? Why do some fall so freely while others never seem to fall? What IS love anyways? Is there actually ONE true love for everyone? Is it possible for ONE person to fulfil ALL your wants, needs and desires... is expecting that from ONE person too much pressure and far too many expectations? Am I even confident that I could be ...