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My struggles with depression - March13, 2018

I went to a basketball game tonight with my kids. I was really hoping the game would shake me out of the funk I'm in right now, but it didn't... It actually made it a bit worse I think. Surrounded by so many people and so much noise, the tightness in my chest was insane. I'm not sure if it's seasonal depression hitting me or my obstacles trying to push me away from  my goals, but I'm struggling. Hard. I've always been open and honest about my struggles, but I've been keeping to myself lately in hopes that I could work through it on my own... but here I am. My head is pounding and my chest is tight, my patience is running thin and I want to crawl back into my bed and stay there until it all goes away. Sadly, I know that's not how it works and I can't do that anyways. There is a quote... you never know how strong you are until being strong is your only option... kinda makes you think. I fight so hard against letting these feelings take over me and

Importance of time + Finding the authentic YOU

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The importance of time between relationships is crucial!! I can't stress this enough. While you may want to jump into the next relationship or next bed as means to help "get over" your ex, please don't. Relationships are hard and breakups can take a lot out of you. One of the worst pieces of advice I've ever received and I know many others have received as well is, "the best way to get over someone is to get under someone new." Eeek. Why though? I mean, sure, flings and randoms can be fun at times, but you are an emotional mess and do you really want to end up sobbing on some strangers shoulder because he just so happened to grab your ass like your ex? Ya, didn't think so. Gross. If your previous relationship or relationships didn't work out due to common or previously before seen / expressed issues (trust issues, anger issues, commitment issues), chances are you have some work to do... ON YOU. Jumping into another relationship without t

Madea's Relationship Wisdom

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Madea drops some serious truth bombs in this clip. The quality isn't the greatest, but the message is still the same.  Biggest take always: 1. You can't change someone.  "If someone shows you who they are, believe them." Maya Angelou Meet people where they are. Don't enter into a partnership thinking, 'well if they do this then things will get better' Guess what... they won't do that and you will get upset and disappointed because they end up not living up to YOUR expectations.  Meet tehm where they are.  You do not have a right to try and change anyone. Ever. Change is entirely up to them, not you. You can make suggestions, but whether or not they take that advice is entirely up to them. You can suggest it and then let it go. Release the expectation and avoid a whole lot of stress and aggravation in the process. 2. When something doesn't sit right with you, keep asking questions. Always trust the vibes you get, int

Things you might want to know before dating a single Mom

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As we get older and progress through the various stages of life, the likelihood of dating a single-parent becomes increasingly more common. A lot of us over the years have been in long term serious relationships, some married some common-law, some relationships fleeting and brief. Some of us have started a family with who we thought was going to be our happily ever after, only to realise you've grown apart over the years and no longer have it in you to make things work. Some of us end up with unplanned little minions from relationships that weren't expected or were doomed from the get-go, so we end up taking the long, hard road of parenting on our own. Some of us choose different paths, some put career before kids, travel over family, and some just haven't grown up yet. Whatever path you choose is entirely up to you and nobody has a right to judge your choices, those are YOUR choices and yours alone. That being said, there are massive differences between these types

12 Tips to Remember While Playing the Field

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We've all had nightmare dates, right? Right? If you've been on the dating scene for ANY length of time, I'm sure you have a story or two up your sleeve. (and I'd love to hear it btw... send it over. I love details <3) In the age of internet dating, meeting someone new can be so unnerving and... unpredictable. Dating can also be entertaining, educational (never do THAT again), foreboding (oh shit, what have I gotten myself into this time), daunting, incredible, adventurous, spontaneous... glorious. depending on the scenario, the people involved, the venue, etc., dating can amount to just about anything. In my blogging research over the last couple weeks, I've discovered that people like to read lists. No idea why, but it is what it is so I'll run with it. Lists make things easy to read and they can be fun. I can see that. I often make lists of things that need to be done, picked up from the store, or ideas / goals that I'm working on or towards. I u

My struggles with Depression + 12 Tips for Starting (and sticking with) a Yoga Practice

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Nobody likes being in pain, especially chronic pain whether it's physical or mental. It sucks. It can really put a damper on things and can become a real downer when it starts to have an effect on day-to-day life. Thankfully there are ways to help manage both physical and mental anguish. It's not an easy journey by any means and it is not a journey that has to be taken alone. Mental Illness is real and it's not easy. You do not need to suffer in silence. Please reach out if you are experiencing mental and / or emotional pain. There are people that you can talk to. Be open and candid with your struggles. I can guarantee you that you are not alone. I understand that knowing you're not alone doesn't change the mentality or lessen the pain, but it gives you a level of support that you didn't have before. I've learned over the years to speak openly about my struggles with anxiety and depression as I know it can help others that are suffering as well.  B

Relationships & Balance

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My last relationship ended because I need more space than he understood the need for. I've always been incredibly independent and I've pretty much always been left to my own devices in previous relationships. I may not have had the most positive experiences in previous relationships, hence the need for independence, but I did not feel smothered or caged. My last relationship stressed me out because I needed my space and he didn't (red flag). He got offended when I told him I needed time alone (mostly to just go to yoga class a couple times a week-cheaper than therapy! but also to just fucking breathe my own air and not see his face for a bit). He did not see the importance of time away from each other and felt that it was a personal attack on him or that I didn't want to be around him (red flag). Quite frankly, when you spend 24/7 with another human being half the time you just wonder when the fuck they're going to go away and give you 5 minutes of peace so y